Farhan Rehman.com - Latest Comments

Re: Entering 2012 With Gusto

Farhan Rehman — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 02:56:20 -0000

Hey Bernie, indeed.. I'll be sharing some more thoughts around this over the next few weeks, especially as I've been reading some really interesting research and studies around the area of success, and talent development. Key thing is, failure is a neccessary part of the learning process, and often times, we don't fail often enough, to be able to truly learn. By playing it safe, and only going to the edges of our comfort zone, rather than pushing ourselves out beyond them, we limit our potential to develop new skills, or competences that are only possible through consciously pushing the envelope.

If you can make 1000 failed telesales calls, chances are if you genuinely tried to succeed, and failed that many times, you'll have learnt a tremendous amount more than if you fixated on the successes you were after, and ultimately, stopped trying, because you thought you didn't have the right skill or competence. Naivete, and comfort in being able to fail, are so important in allowing us to be able to develop and grow in terms of our skills and competence, just look at a baby learning to walk. The only reason a child can learn to walk, is because they've failed every time, but keep trying. The only difference between how quickly one child learns and another, is the number of times they try, in a given time frame, as learning to walk, on a physiological level requires the constant firing of neural synapses, down the muscle fibres, until myelin sheaths are formed, that allow an 'unconscious' competence to be developed. That same process needs to occur for any skill, or competence development.

For me, I want to fail. The more spectacularly I can fail, it means the more courageously I will have tried. But more importantly, the more frequently I fail, the quicker I will learn what works and what doesn't. Like the child learning to walk, constant feedback, through thousands of attempts will eventually lead to mastery, and competence. But if I don't set out to fail, and embrace the desire to fail, then I'll never give myself the permission to fail in public, or openly or honestly. In my mind, being honest with yourself and others, is as much about being transparent enough to acknowledge failure, as much as it is about failing itself. It takes much more effort, and hard work to fail, publicly, and then to try again, than it does to try and succeed. (Oftentimes, if you're trying and succeeding, it means you have to try even harder, to get to a point of failure, before any new learning/feedback can occur in the process).

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I'll definitely be adding Steve Pressfield's 'Do The Work' to my reading list.

Re: Entering 2012 With Gusto

Khalidmair — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 05:07:35 -0000

Hear, hear!

Re: Entering 2012 With Gusto

Berniejmitchell — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 01:15:08 -0000

Thanks for sharing Farhan, I always read that "greatest fear" as a feel the fear and do it anyway. Or "beating the resistance" as Steve Pressfield writes about in 'Do the Work'. I can see how people could read it as 'I'm a tiger and the world owes me'. I have been thinking recently about how we all crave to 'fit in' and be someone who is doing well. Actually you start doing well when you are honest with yourself and others about where you are at, then people can support you acuratly - if you set out to fail in order to succeed maybe you won't. If you set out to pay attention and learn then your failures are valuable lessons to get you there. "be prompt and watchful" I read somewhere. Have a great 2012!

Re: Where do I belong?

Farhan Lover — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 10:21:16 -0000

Sorry, where?

Re: What is Love?

Lynnclaire — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 18:19:59 -0000

farhan,
i sent you an email earlier, but received a notice that you were no longer with total media, so i went looking for how to resend you the email. hopefully, this will work as well as anyplace else.
isn't it strange how time passes? i recall so well our meeting, what, seven or eight years ago? a very strange experience actually, not our meeting, the experience! how goes your life? are you experiencing any of the challenges in the UK that are on the headlines of our paper?
farhan, did you marry?
incredibly, i committed myself to this institution two years ago! what a shock.
to see what's up with me, i hope you will check out the links below. good news is that there are two books to come out in the next few months on this work, one academic, the other social. i am so impressed by your use of social media, something that terrifies me!
ciao for now!
Lynnclaire

Life: www.Amiamo-Adventures.com
Play: www.EssenceIllumined.com
High Play: www.Mereon.org

Re: Knowing When to Quit

Azam Rehman — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 11:36:07 -0000

never

Re: Living With Our Ideals

Farhan Ahmad — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:24:39 -0000

This was a very insightful post. Perfectionists have this problem, but I never thought of ideals in this way.